I was in a bad place. I stayed in a relationship that no longer served me for longer than I should have. It was bad for both of us. I let the negativity penetrate into all aspects of mine life; my health, spirituality, friendships, family life, business and mental health suffered. I lost my joy. I literally didn’t know where to go or what to do. I remember the moment that I hit rock bottom.
I was sitting on the middle of my living room floor. Sobbing. A kind of cry that I couldn’t imagine experiencing today. My best friend. My mom came. They sat with me and just let me do my thing. Then, they told me I needed to do something. I had to take out the trash. I had to do my laundry. I had to start taking care of myself. It was time to start a new chapter and look forward, no longer back.
It wasn’t easy. I was the epitome of “Fake it till you make it” because I faked a LOT. I went through the motions. I worked out just to move, I went to work and pretended I was ok, I tried to regain some sense of normalcy back to my life. And then I made the biggest decision I have made to date: I sold my business and started over.
Now, I didn’t sell the business due to the end of a relationship, there were a few other factors that played into it. There were other unhealthy relationships in my life that I needed to change. I felt I was living a life that wasn’t mine, so I did the damn thing and moved to a new town and started over.
To say I was scared is putting it lightly. But, I knew it was the right thing to do. I had the support of the people that mattered and I was on a journey to find myself again.
I was an avid CrossFitter at the time and along the way of losing myself, I forgot about my need for nature. Not want, but need. Running, walking, hiking…it is in my blood and I no longer did it.
After moving to a new town and getting my bearings, I found a nature preserve with miles and miles of trails. This slowly became my new home. I spent time there every day. I would first stick to the trails I knew, trails that new friends of mine would show me. But eventually I became familiar with all the trails available to me and I made the most of them. Me and my red headed pit, we took to the trails by foot and slowly felt a shift happening.
Wouldn’t you know, the more time I spent on the trails, the more time I spent in the trees, the more things started to change. I was finding myself. I got confident enough to start coaching. I started caring about my performance in the gym. I even started to hang out with a guy that had an incredible love for the wild, more so than me at the time. Nature continued to bring me back to myself and get close to a guy that I can now see myself spending forever with.
The trees brought me back to life, back to myself. The trees brought me back to a place I had longed for time and time again, they helped me find my Joy.